1. INT. HOUSE. MORNING.
Jack, 25 years old, in a smart suit, and Susan, 24 years old also in a smart suit, are sitting on the kitchen table eating breakfast.
Jack, 25 years old, in a smart suit, and Susan, 24 years old also in a smart suit, are sitting on the kitchen table eating breakfast.
Jack:
Morning darling, how are you?
Susan:
Yeah am okay, should we head off now?
they head off to the car and go work.
(happy music)
2. INT. OFFICE. AFTERNOON
Jack sat with his head on the desk with a lot of papers around him.
Jack's at work he's very distracted doesn't do much work.
Jack's at work he's very distracted doesn't do much work.
3. EXT. FRONT YARD. EVENING.
Jack's standing outside the house trying to open the door and a couple of minutes later Susan comes over but in another mans car who has dropped her off.
Jack:
who the hell is that?
Jack gives him weird looks and just goes inside just before Susan comes over and tries to give him a hug.
4. INT. BEDROOM. NIGHT.
Jack's sitting on the bed, Susan comes and sits near him.
Jack's sitting on the bed, Susan comes and sits near him.
Susan's reading a book and jack just walks out the room and goes out.
5. INT. BEDROOM. MORNING.
Susan wakes up a bit late she hears the door shut.
When she comes down she sees that jack has already left which means she has to take a taxi and go work as he left without her.
Susan:
Jack are you there?
When she comes down she sees that jack has already left which means she has to take a taxi and go work as he left without her.
6. INT. LIVING ROOM. EVENING.
jack sitting on the sofa watching t.v. Susan comes and sits near him.
jack sitting on the sofa watching t.v. Susan comes and sits near him.
Susan:
Why didn't you wait for me today normally we go work together. why have you been avoiding me for. what have i done.
Jack:
i don't know.
Susan:
who's what you on about, which guy?
Jack:
That man that you came home with yesterday him!
Susan:
That's just Phil he works with me. What's wrong with you?
Jack:
i don't care about all this if i ever see you with that guy ever again I'll break both yours and that bastards legs!
i don't know.
Susan:
who's what you on about, which guy?
Jack:
That man that you came home with yesterday him!
Susan:
That's just Phil he works with me. What's wrong with you?
Jack:
i don't care about all this if i ever see you with that guy ever again I'll break both yours and that bastards legs!
jack walks out the room.
7. INT. KITCHEN. MORNING.
Jack sits on the table drinking coffee. Susan wakes up late again comes down and jack gives her breakfast he acts as if nothing happened.
Jack:
Morning darling
Morning darling
Susan:
erm morning darling
Susan gives a vague smiles and sits down and drinks her coffee.
She gets her coat and they both head off for work.
Jack:
should we head off?
Susan:
Yeah i think we should.
She gets her coat and they both head off for work.
8. EXT. FRONT YARD. EVENING.
Susan comes out of the car whilst jack is watching her from the bedroom window. Susan gets dropped off by Phil (work colleague). She goes inside.
Susan comes out of the car whilst jack is watching her from the bedroom window. Susan gets dropped off by Phil (work colleague). She goes inside.
Susan:Bye Phil see you tomorrow.
She goes inside.
9. INT. BEDROOM. NIGHT.
Susan goes inside she goes to the bedroom.
Jack gets angry pushes her against the wall and shouts at her.
Jack:
He starts hitting her. She sits there crying on the floor.
(loud music)
Jack gets angry pushes her against the wall and shouts at her.
Jack:
why the hell were you with that man?!
He starts hitting her. She sits there crying on the floor.
Susan:
Stop hitting me what the hell have i done to you?!
He leaves the room.
(loud music)
10. INT. LIVING ROOM. MORNING.
Jack's sat at the table having breakfast shouts out to Susan.
Jack's sat at the table having breakfast shouts out to Susan.
Jack:
Susan are you coming?
Susan:
I don't feel well today I'm not going to come.
Jack:
if you say so, I'll come check up on you at lunch, bye.
Susan comes downstairs with a luggage and leaves her house keys on the table, she pulls out her phone and dials a number.
Susan:
She puts her phone down into her pocket and then a car beeps from outside.are you still up for it.. yes obviously i want to come with you. can't wait to see you.
11. EXT. FRONT YARD. MORNING.
Susan gets her luggage and gets into the car. She has a last glance off her house and then gets into the car and they drive off.
This is well written Shumana; it makes sense and there is a sense of character development.
ReplyDeleteYou need to check through your dialoge for spellings, capital letters and punctuation.
You also have to add one brief, final exterior scene for Susan's exit to the car.
Otherwise, well done!